the 48 injuries I got not doing crossfit

Misrepresenting Crossfit injuries is simple click theft!

Obese reporters, lazy bloggers out to “steal clicks”, and those seeking to curry favour with critics  throw their hands up in horror at the thought that any sporting activity could result in any type of injury.

“Surely”, they ooze, “If we could rid ourselves of rugby, MMA, boxing, indeed all martial arts (except that nice Tai Chi, that’s ok) and Crossfit, no one would be injured again.”

I reflected on this and thought about my Crossfit injuries, then I thought about my pre-Crossfit injuries as a “fit” person, then I thought about my injuries as a normal member of the public.

I’m proving nothing, other than saying injury, biffs, cuts and stuff are probably part of life unless you are very unfit and sedentary. In which case, it’s just the bed sores.

An overview of my injuries

As a sedentary 100 day a smoker who avoided physical activity till I was 37.

  • I got run over by a car.
  • I fell of a ladder while painting,
  • I burnt my chest in a garden fire.
  • I had back pain from slouching.
  • I had back pain from moving stuff badly.
  • I had numerous hangovers from drinking too much.
  • A disastrous smokers’ cough with the associated high blood pressure.
  • I skipped down a low corridor and bounced so high that I smashed my head on the ceiling and landed on my elbow.
  • I stood up too fast while filing and smashed my head against the bottom of a draw that was pulled out above me.
  • I cut my lip by trying to lick the top of a soup tin, which I had opened with an opener .
  • I  nearly mandolin-ed the top of my finger off.
  • I’ve caught my fingers in the car door,
  • I’ve banged my fingers with hammers, sliced my skin open with knives so many times that I should have therapy for self harming.
  • I’ve electrocuted my self, twice.
  • I’ve burned myself on the iron, on the oven, and by seeing what would happen if I poked a straw into the 2 bar fire in the lounge.
  • Cigarette burns galore.
  • I’ve walked into too many doors.
  • Tripped down stairs, and slipped on slippery things .
  • I have left shoulder pain as I sleep on it… (for 54 years!!)
  • I got several bouts of carpet burn knees after having sex on the floor
  • I’ve caught my foreskin in my zip, unbelievably, 3 times.
  • I fell off a wall while having a cigarette and dislocated my finger.
  • Why do I continue to stub my toe?

As a child learning to ride my bike, I scraped both knees, badly, and my mum screwed up the bandage so the scab meshed into the material, so that had to be ripped off. I often slammed the breaks on  and often went sailing over the handlebars.

Often.

 From when I started to get fit  at  age 37

  • I tumbled off the treadmill,
  • Dropped a dumbbell on my foot,
  • Caught my finger on the safety catch on the leg extension machine
  • At martial arts, 5 years of black eyes, numerous with kicks to my poor testicles.
  • Learning to swim at the age of 40 (God knows how much pool water I drank).
  • While wrestling, I caught my big toe between two mats and twisted it.
  •  As  a doorman and on security contracts, I got slashed with a bottle on my arm, then split a knuckle punching someone in the mouth. And I had someone try and scoop my eye out with their finger (I’m sure I got a knee in the groin too).
  • From running  I developed severe knee pain and shin splints, and Achillies tendonitis. I compounded my shoulder damage by dropping that bench press
  •  Since I started Crossfit: 
  • Callus tears
  • 4 bouts of deadlift- induced bad back pain (1 during a wod, the other 3 during strength sessions)
  • A nasty psoas injury, which I got demonstrating an unweighted split jerk.
  • My Achilles and shoulder continue to bother me.
  • I got a nasty dose of  plantar fasciitis
  • My wrists don’t like high rep bar push presses.

There are injuries in Crossfit, but bearing in mind it taught me sooo much, I think, on balance, for me, it was safer than normal living. Certainly I’ve not zipped up my foreskin since I became a bit more co-ordinated.

Get me to the safety of 30 power snatches for time.

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