personality

What is a demartini values assessment

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The Demartini Values Assessment process is a structured method developed by Dr. John Demartini to help individuals gain clarity on their core values and priorities in life.

Here’s a detailed explanation of the process:

  1. Preparation: • Before starting the assessment, it’s important to create a conducive environment that allows the individual to focus without distractions. This might involve finding a quiet space and allocating sufficient time for the assessment.

2. Questionnaire or Interview: • The assessment typically involves a series of questions aimed at uncovering the individual’s values across different areas of life. These areas may include career, relationships, health, personal development, spirituality, and more. • The questions are designed to probe deeply into what truly matters to the individual, often prompting them to reflect on past experiences, aspirations, and emotional responses.

3. Scoring or Ranking: • After answering the questions, the individual may be asked to score or rank their responses based on the level of importance each value holds for them. This helps in identifying the hierarchy of values, with the most significant ones rising to the top.

4. Analysis: • Once the values have been identified and ranked, the individual and possibly a trained facilitator analyze the results to gain insights into their priorities and motivations. • They may explore how these values influence their decision-making, behavior, relationships, and overall sense of fulfillment.

5. Integration and Application: • The final step involves integrating the insights gained from the assessment into the individual’s life. This may include setting goals and making decisions that are more aligned with their core values. • Ongoing reflection and adjustment are encouraged as the individual continues to grow and evolve.

6. Follow-Up: • Depending on the context, there may be follow-up sessions or exercises to further explore and reinforce the understanding of values. • Follow-up assessments may also be conducted periodically to track changes in values and ensure alignment with the individual’s evolving aspirations and circumstances.

The Demartini Values Assessment process is often conducted in coaching, counseling, or personal development settings, either one-on-one or in group workshops. It serves as a powerful tool for increasing self-awareness, enhancing decision-making, and fostering a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment in life.

Here are some examples of the questions used

The specific questions used in a Demartini Values Assessment may vary depending on the facilitator and the individual’s unique circumstances. However, here are some example questions that might be included in the assessment process across different areas of life:

The specific questions used in a Demartini Values Assessment may vary depending on the facilitator and the individual’s unique circumstances. However, here are some example questions that might be included in the assessment process across different areas of life:

1.  Career/Career Satisfaction:
•   What aspects of your career do you find most fulfilling?
•   What accomplishments in your career are you most proud of?
•   How important is financial success and stability to you in your career?
2.  Relationships:

•   What qualities do you value most in your relationships with others?
•   What kind of partner or friends do you admire or aspire to be like?
•   How important is communication, trust, and intimacy in your relationships?

3.  Health and Well-being:
•   What does living a healthy lifestyle mean to you?
•   How important is physical fitness, nutrition, and self-care in your life?
•   What health-related goals or habits do you prioritize?

4.  Personal Growth and Development:
•   What areas of personal growth and development are you currently focusing on?
•   What skills or knowledge do you want to acquire or improve upon?
•   How important is continuous learning and self-improvement to you?

5.  Spirituality and Meaning:
•   What spiritual or philosophical beliefs resonate most with you?
•   How do you find meaning and purpose in your life?
•   How important is connecting with something greater than yourself to your overall well-being?

6.  Family and Home Life:
•   What role does family play in your life, and what values do you associate with family?
•   How do you prioritize time spent with your family and loved ones?
•   What aspects of your home environment are most important to you?
7.  Community and Social Impact:
•   What social causes or issues are you passionate about?
•   How do you contribute to your community or society in meaningful ways?
•   How important is making a positive impact on others and the world around you?

These questions are intended to prompt reflection and introspection, helping individuals identify and prioritize their core values across various aspects of their lives. By exploring these questions and discussing their responses, individuals can gain deeper insight into what truly matters to them and use this awareness to make more aligned choices and pursue greater fulfillment.

Limiting beliefs

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A limiting belief is a belief that constrains you in some way, often by creating self-imposed barriers or restrictions on what you can achieve.

In the context of exercise and weight loss, a limiting belief might be the belief that you’re not capable of losing weight or that you’ll never be able to stick to an exercise routine.

These beliefs can undermine your ability to exercise and lose weight by demotivating you, causing you to give up easily, or leading you to engage in self-sabotaging behaviors.

For example, if you believe that you’re destined to be overweight, you might not even bother trying to exercise or eat healthily because you don’t believe it will make a difference. Identifying and challenging these limiting beliefs is crucial for making progress towards your fitness and weight loss goals.

How do you change your behaviour ?

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Everyone talks about living a better happier life. But what theoretical approaches can you take to change your attitude towards , say food , exercise , anger , drug and alcohol abuse.

Here are summaries of some of the top behavior change theories

:1. Transtheoretical Model (TTM): Also known as the Stages of Change model, TTM describes behavior change as a process that occurs in stages: pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance.

2. Health Belief Model (HBM): HBM suggests that people’s beliefs about a health threat, perceived benefits of action, perceived barriers to action, cues to action, and self-efficacy influence their readiness to take action.

3. Social Cognitive Theory (SCT): SCT emphasizes the role of social influences, observational learning, and self-efficacy in behavior change. It suggests that behavior is influenced by the interactions between personal factors, environmental factors, and behaviors.

4. Theory of Planned Behavior (TPB): TPB proposes that attitudes, subjective norms, and perceived behavioral control predict an individual’s intention to engage in a behavior, which in turn predicts actual behavior.

5. Operant Conditioning: This theory, popularized by B.F. Skinner, suggests that behavior is shaped by the consequences that follow it. Positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, punishment, and extinction are the main mechanisms.

6. Self-Determination Theory (SDT): SDT emphasizes the importance of intrinsic motivation and the satisfaction of psychological needs (autonomy, competence, and relatedness) in driving behavior change.

7. Social Ecological Model (SEM): SEM considers the complex interplay between individual, interpersonal, organizational, community, and societal factors in influencing behavior. It emphasizes the importance of multiple levels of influence in behavior change interventions.

These theories could provide a framework for understanding how and why behavior change occurs, and they are often used in designing interventions to promote healthy behaviour’s. However it seems that obesity rates are soaring with allegedly 95 % of people who start a diet , failing .

The battle really is on to something that works . There are lots of stories and Instagram takes of success , but they tend to be the exception .

Mindset training .John rohn

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John Rohn’s “12 Pillars” model is a framework for personal development and success, comprising twelve fundamental principles or pillars. Here’s a breakdown of each pillar and what it involves:

1. Personal Development: This pillar emphasizes the importance of continuous self-improvement and growth, both professionally and personally.

2. Take Charge: Taking charge of one’s life involves assuming responsibility for one’s actions, decisions, and circumstances.

3. Goal Setting: Setting clear and achievable goals is crucial for progress and success. This pillar emphasizes the importance of defining specific objectives and working towards them.

4. Seek Knowledge: Continuous learning and seeking new knowledge are essential for personal and professional growth. This pillar encourages individuals to expand their minds and acquire new skills.

5. Change Your Thinking: Positive thinking and mindset play a significant role in achieving success. This pillar emphasizes the power of optimism and the importance of cultivating a positive outlook.

6. Master Your Emotions: Emotional intelligence and self-control are vital for navigating challenges and achieving success. This pillar emphasizes managing emotions effectively and maintaining composure in difficult situations.

7. Surround Yourself with Winners: Surrounding oneself with supportive and positive individuals who share similar goals and values can greatly influence success. This pillar highlights the importance of building a strong support network.

8. Learn the Art of Living Well: Living a balanced life involves taking care of one’s physical, mental, and emotional well-being. This pillar emphasizes the importance of maintaining a healthy lifestyle and prioritizing self-care.

9. Take Action: Success requires more than just planning; it involves taking consistent and purposeful action towards one’s goals. This pillar emphasizes the importance of initiative and perseverance.

10. Be Disciplined: Discipline is essential for achieving long-term success and overcoming obstacles. This pillar encourages individuals to develop self-discipline and commitment to their goals.

11. Value Your Time: Time is a precious resource, and how it is managed can significantly impact success. This pillar emphasizes the importance of prioritizing tasks, setting boundaries, and making the most of each moment.

12. Leave a Legacy: Beyond personal success, leaving a positive legacy involves making a meaningful contribution to others and the world. This pillar encourages individuals to think about their impact and how they can leave a lasting legacy.

By embracing these twelve pillars, individuals can cultivate the mindset, habits, and behaviors necessary for personal growth, fulfillment, and success in all areas of life.

Mental strategies. ( Intro and Tony Robbins )

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I was brought up in a religious home.

By the time I was 10, I’d witnessed numerous passionate and emotional conversions . I seen sinners galore “come to Christ”. However , I also saw lots of the same converts the days and weeks after their unique conversion experience, reverting to type ! It seems that drugs, booze, sex, power and money ( or whatever Evil/ sin torments you ) is very difficult to shake. Even the help of a God doesn’t seem to make it that much easier !

I suppose this is why I’m fascinated by books and literature and activities that claim to fix your mind ( aka mindset , aka your attitude , aka your beliefs aka whatever label makes you feel you can charge a lot for your view point) .

Over the years I’ve studied lots of weird things from stage hypnotism, firewalking , witchcraft ( after all you get to fly on broom sticks and make love potions ) even tile and board breaking . I’ve had to sit in meditation circles, bow at shrines and temples and look in awe as people who wonder the streets , screaming at someone who wasn’t there .

It seems that we are sort of obsessed , and if we are not , we ought to be , by our thoughts and beliefs . We can allegedly sit in a big mortgage free house , with piles of money yet be lonely and miserable , and people with amazing gifts can destroy themselves with drink !’ We have the capacity to to be happy in the most terrible of circumstances, yet struggle to keep from stuffing twenty donuts in our mouth even if we know our excessive weight us killing us

On a mental level , it seems as if we are collective failures. We are totally out of contact with methods they could bring us happiness and seemingly we are destined to reproduce the same behaviours that make us miserable.

To be helpful , I thought I’d start reviewing the work of popular writers who have discussed and suggested solutions to our problems

I’ll start with the infamous Tony Robbins, a well-known motivational speaker and life coach. Here are some of his ideas :

1. Setting Clear Goals: Robbins emphasizes the importance of setting clear, specific, and compelling goals. This involves defining what you want to achieve and why it’s important to you.

2. Visualizing Success: Visualization is a powerful technique advocated by Robbins. He encourages people to vividly imagine themselves achieving their goals, experiencing the emotions associated with success.

3. Positive Affirmations: Robbins promotes the use of positive affirmations to reprogram the subconscious mind for success. Affirmations are positive statements that reinforce desired beliefs and behaviors.

4. Modeling Success: Robbins believes in modeling successful individuals to learn from their strategies and behaviors. By studying the habits and mindset of successful people, one can replicate their success.

5. Mastering Emotional State: Robbins teaches techniques to manage and control emotions effectively. This includes strategies for overcoming fear, anxiety, and limiting beliefs that may hinder personal growth.

6. Taking Massive Action: Robbins emphasizes the importance of taking massive action towards your goals. He encourages individuals to commit fully and take consistent, determined action to achieve success.

7. Embracing Failure and Learning: Robbins teaches that failure is a natural part of the journey to success. He encourages people to embrace failure as an opportunity for growth and learning, rather than allowing it to deter them.

8. Developing Resilience: Robbins helps individuals build resilience to bounce back from setbacks and challenges. This involves cultivating a strong mindset, perseverance, and the ability to adapt in the face of adversity.

But what if you hate exercise..?

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Exercise and mindset

If you hate exercise, according to online Pt’s, you need to build a positive mindset !

Having chatted to a few (too many ) people, here are some strategies you will be sold to help you develop a positive exercise mindset:

1. Set realistic goals: Start with small, achievable goals that align with your fitness level and interests. Gradually increase the intensity and duration of your workouts as you progress.

2. Find enjoyable activities: Explore different types of exercises to find activities that you genuinely enjoy. It could be dancing, hiking, swimming, or any other physical activity that brings you pleasure.

3. Focus on the benefits: Remind yourself of the numerous benefits exercise offers, such as improved mood, increased energy levels, better sleep, and overall health. Concentrating on these positive outcomes can help motivate you.

4. Create a routine: Establish a consistent exercise routine that fits into your schedule. Consistency is key to developing a positive mindset and making exercise a habit.

5. Find a workout buddy or support system: Exercising with a friend or joining a fitness community can provide accountability, motivation, and make the experience more enjoyable.

6. Celebrate small victories: Acknowledge and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Recognizing your achievements can boost your confidence and reinforce a positive mindset.

7. Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and avoid self-criticism. Understand that everyone has different fitness levels and progress at their own pace. Focus on your own journey rather than comparing yourself to others.

Remember, building a positive mindset takes time and effort. By incorporating these strategies into your routine, you can gradually develop a more positive attitude towards exercise.

The problem with these totally worthy, helpful, handy hints, is they don’t really take into account the core of your objection.

You don’t like exercise.

So, if you don’t like exercise, why would you even embark on any of these things?

There is a massive and diverse list of things I don’t like. They have one thing in common. I don’t do them. Nor do I spend any time thinking about doing them.

To give a concrete example, I don’t want to eat poo. Guess how much time I spend creating a poo-eating routine.

Go on, I dare you. I double dare you
Gosh. You are psychic. Zero!

I also don’t: set any sort of poo-eating goals, nor do I celebrate any poo-eating I may accidentally do, nor do I “forgive myself” for not liking poo-eating.

I do however have a big list of stuff that I know I should do and will have to do, but don’t really like or relish. My tax return is a good example.

So, to begin to build a positive mindset, to do the thing you don’t really want to, you need to know or believe that there is a compulsion to the activity. You must exercise “or else”

If you are struggling with the idea of exercise, your very 1st step is, not to make schedules, or think happy thoughts, it is to put exercise (or activity) on your agenda and accept it as something you ought to do, “or else”.

Without this stage, everything else you will do will probably fail!

Will power. Muscle not brain.

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Willpower: Unveiling its Muscle-like Nature
In our pursuit of personal growth and success, willpower often plays a crucial role. It is commonly believed that willpower is a skill that can be honed through practice and discipline. However, recent research suggests that willpower is more akin to a muscle that can be strengthened and fatigued. This blog post aims to explore the concept of willpower as a muscle, supported by academic references.

Understanding Willpower as a Muscle:
Willpower can be defined as the ability to resist short-term temptations in order to achieve long-term goals. Just like a muscle, it can be trained, depleted, and strengthened over time. This muscle analogy provides a useful framework for understanding the dynamics of willpower.

1. Baumeister and Heatherton (1996):
Baumeister and Heatherton conducted a seminal study that compared willpower to a muscle. They found that individuals who exerted self-control in one task experienced a subsequent decrease in self-control in a subsequent task. This depletion effect suggests that willpower, like a muscle, can become fatigued with use.

2. Muraven, Baumeister, and Tice (1999):
In another study, Muraven, Baumeister, and Tice explored the concept of willpower depletion further. They found that participants who resisted eating tempting chocolates performed worse on subsequent cognitive tasks compared to those who did not exert self-control. This study provides evidence that willpower depletion can extend beyond the specific domain of self-control.

3. Job, Dweck, and Walton (2010):
Job, Dweck, and Walton investigated the malleability of willpower through a series of experiments. They found that individuals who believed willpower was a limited resource experienced more self-control failures compared to those who believed it was a flexible and trainable trait. This study highlights the importance of mindset in developing and maintaining willpower.

Building Willpower Muscle:
Similar to building physical muscles, there are strategies to enhance and strengthen our willpower:

1. Gradual Progression:
Start with small, manageable challenges and gradually increase the difficulty. This approach allows the willpower muscle to adapt and grow stronger over time.

2. Rest and Recovery:
Just as muscles need rest to recover and grow, willpower also requires adequate rest. Engaging in activities that replenish mental energy, such as relaxation techniques or hobbies, can help restore willpower.

3. Mindfulness and Self-awareness:
Developing mindfulness and self-awareness can help individuals recognize their triggers for self-control depletion. By identifying these triggers, individuals can proactively manage their willpower resources.

Conclusion:
Willpower, often considered a skill, is better understood as a muscle that can be trained and strengthened. Academic research supports the notion that willpower can be depleted and restored, similar to the dynamics of a muscle. By adopting strategies to build and maintain this muscle, individuals can enhance their self-control and achieve their long-term goals.

References:
1. Baumeister, R. F., & Heatherton, T. F. (1996). Self-regulation failure: An overview. Psychological Inquiry, 7(1), 1-15.
2. Muraven, M., Baumeister, R. F., & Tice, D. M. (1999). Longitudinal improvement of self-regulation through practice: Building self-control strength through repeated exercise. Journal of Social Psychology, 139(4), 446-457.
3. Job, V., Dweck, C. S., & Walton, G. M. (2010). Ego depletion—Is it all in your head? Implicit theories about willpower affect self-regulation. Psychological Science, 21(11), 1686-1693.

Interesting questions to change the way you think

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Read more: Interesting questions to change the way you think

What could the acronym “FEED” stand for? Its a mnemonic device to help
you remember the steps to change the way you think.

What do you think it stand for?
a. Feel good, Exhale, Excite, and Dictate
b. Focus, Effort, Effortlessness, and Determination
c. Fail, Engage, Encourage, and Describe
d. Freedom, Effortlessness, Entertainment, and Doing little 

If you need help getting your mind or body right, do drop me an email andrew@andrewstemler.com or you can join my mailing list